All
this talk about potty training and how well Wiggly has taken to it, I
need to remind myself not to get disappointed when he does have
accidents. They are fewer and fewer in between. And if it does
happen, he can now stop himself and finish going in the potty. I just
cannot get over how much easier clean up is now after #2. Bathroom
doesn't stink of poopy diapers anymore. Yay! These days, he can hold
his bladder for about 2hours now so long drives aren't as stressful
anymore. And when we do have to find a bathroom, it is SO NICE not to
have to look for a diaper station. I was very much dismayed at the
fact that my favorite ice cream place, (BRAUMS) does not have diaper
stations. I still am dismayed but that hasn't stopped me from going
to go get ice cream there. I also keep thinking to myself how much
harder a work it is with one or two other kids in the household. I
don't know that I would be able to be as compulsive as I have been
with Wiggly's training. I can see how one would want to wait a little
later when the child is able to communicate better and has developed
a little bit more dexterity in pulling underwear down and up. Not to
mention being able to unbutton/button up and zip up. Since Wiggly
isn't quite as adept at either, I've had to make sure to put on
elastic shorts on him. And if I do put button up shorts or pants on
him, I am more watchful and listening for the words “potty” or
“poopy poop.” And we've had to be careful about giving him too
much watermelon or any kind of juice. These make him go, go, go
literally every 10-15min of #1. Just itty bitty things we've had to
learn as PTBC was going on. Enough potty talk.
These
days, Wiggly's favorite past time aside from playing with his blocks
and trains and reading is hiding under blankets or sheets. He gets
such a kick out of it. So we've spent quite a number of time under
the sheets these days – just hanging out and whispering the word
“hiding” and giggling away. He especially loves it if I let him
get under first and I try and find him soon after. Such cheap yet fun
entertainment!
Wiggly's
been very cuddly these days especially after naps or first getting up
in the mornings I've been enjoying the cuddle times so much. He never
would have allowed this last year. Last year, he was more content to
lay on the floor with his pillow and have us watch him from a
distance while he was waking up. Of course once he's fully awake,
there is no holding him – for long periods of time.
The
few and far between times that he's slept in the bed with us, I've
noticed he's more restful – as in no more 180degree moves, less
kicking and flailing around. He used to pummel me mostly with his
feet. And we just contributed that to the fact that we weren't the
same umma and appa he was used to sleeping with. Very normal. These
days, he is content to just lay in between us or snuggle with either
one of us for the most part of the night. With his Tiddy close by of
course. I used to dread the nights when he would have to sleep with
us because that was guaranteed a lot less sleep for me. And I LOVE my
sleep. I don't dread those nights anymore, but I am first to kick him
out of bed. Do not want to start a habit. Do not get me wrong. Having
him in bed with us is awesome. Makes me want to stay awake to just
enjoy the snuggles. BUT his place is in his bed so there he must stay
in the nights.
Since
we really have had a very easy transition/bonding process we really
haven't had to look too closely for any dis attachment issues. But
him giving us more cuddle times and resting more comfortably through
the nights with us, just really makes me realize that he did still
have reservations with us and it basically took him a whole year to
get over that. A whole year! And that's an easy transition.
What
am I getting at and why am I thinking such thoughts? Cause we're
adopting again of course! It's only been a week since we've gotten
our initial paperwork so we're still working on getting those turned
back in. But of course my mind is already jumping ahead and thinking
about how once again we are going to rock Wiggly's world. I've been
joking around and saying how we're working on dethroning Wiggly. But
really underneath is more of a fear and concern about how to go about
it so as to protect his heart and keep the channels open between us
and him. In our home study questionnaire, one of the questions is,
“what fears do we have about adoption this second time around.”
My answer, aside from the initial bonding and attachment issues, is
not being able to address Wiggly's feelings of being displaced. My
other fear is of possibly expecting our 2nd process to be
just as good as Wiggly's. Since our attachment and bonding process
with Wiggly has been very smooth, I do not want to lose sight of the
fact that it could very well be completely the opposite. I need to
remember that our next one is his/her own complete, unique self. And
of course there is the fear of managing my time more efficiently to
be able to meet both kids' needs appropriately and evenly. It goes
without saying that we will have another heart to pray for and
protect of course.
So
what does Wiggly think of being a big brother? Most of the times,
he's just kind of laughed it off. This weekend I told him, “hey
Wiggly, you're going to be a big brother!” Wiggly's
response: “Oh ma-an!” Needless to say, Wiggly is getting tighter
than usual hugs from Mommy. Mommy is already grieving over the idea
of less one on one time with Wiggly; grieving for Wiggly about the
inevitable changes he's going to have to adapt to again. The one good
thing is Wiggly seems to be able to adapt to/handle change fairly
well. It might take a whole year post 2nd adoption for a
new normal but it'll happen I know.
So,
YES we are very excited about having another one. We are even jumping
ahead and already talking about traveling plans! HA! Really, we are
being cautious and convincing ourselves it'll actually be a longer
process since Korea has changed their adoption process just this
month. So we are going to be willing guinea pigs this time around.
The one certainty about adoption is, you are guaranteed a ton of
uncertainties.. such as the length of wait, what kind of child you're
getting – seemingly healthy or not. We are hoping for the best of
course but we are preparing ourselves like we did the first go around
– preparing for the worst. Which brings me back to transitioning –
easy vs difficult. We have been so blessed that Wiggly's transition
has been smooth and basically a dream come true. And yet, it took him
ONE YEAR to fully be comfortable with us. It is very hard for me to
grasp how hard and how long it can take for our second child to
attach to us completely if we start off with a rough transition. And
yet I know God has His hand in all of this; He knows what's ahead of
us and I will just have to cling to that fact. So we step out in
faith once again … in a big, exciting, roller coaster way.
 |
| 11 months ago |
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| Cousin M has a knack for bringing out the best smiles/laughs from Wiggly. |
|
AC
To use for Wiggly of course. And the ones she sent
us this time are a little bigger so it fits around his neck just fine
with a lot of room. They are so handy for runny noses and slobber....
you get the drift. We have been blessed in that our son has been so
healthy. Even to the common cold... he's not had much of it. But if
and when he gets the runny nose, one of these neckerchiefs goes
around his neck and he actually uses it. Sahweet. Of course it's been
a while since I've put it on him so I'll need to remind him next time
it goes on. He asks for a “neenex” otherwise. Which is fine also. 
