Thoughts and such

All this talk about potty training and how well Wiggly has taken to it, I need to remind myself not to get disappointed when he does have accidents. They are fewer and fewer in between. And if it does happen, he can now stop himself and finish going in the potty. I just cannot get over how much easier clean up is now after #2. Bathroom doesn't stink of poopy diapers anymore. Yay! These days, he can hold his bladder for about 2hours now so long drives aren't as stressful anymore. And when we do have to find a bathroom, it is SO NICE not to have to look for a diaper station. I was very much dismayed at the fact that my favorite ice cream place, (BRAUMS) does not have diaper stations. I still am dismayed but that hasn't stopped me from going to go get ice cream there. I also keep thinking to myself how much harder a work it is with one or two other kids in the household. I don't know that I would be able to be as compulsive as I have been with Wiggly's training. I can see how one would want to wait a little later when the child is able to communicate better and has developed a little bit more dexterity in pulling underwear down and up. Not to mention being able to unbutton/button up and zip up. Since Wiggly isn't quite as adept at either, I've had to make sure to put on elastic shorts on him. And if I do put button up shorts or pants on him, I am more watchful and listening for the words “potty” or “poopy poop.” And we've had to be careful about giving him too much watermelon or any kind of juice. These make him go, go, go literally every 10-15min of #1. Just itty bitty things we've had to learn as PTBC was going on. Enough potty talk.

These days, Wiggly's favorite past time aside from playing with his blocks and trains and reading is hiding under blankets or sheets. He gets such a kick out of it. So we've spent quite a number of time under the sheets these days – just hanging out and whispering the word “hiding” and giggling away. He especially loves it if I let him get under first and I try and find him soon after. Such cheap yet fun entertainment!

Wiggly's been very cuddly these days especially after naps or first getting up in the mornings I've been enjoying the cuddle times so much. He never would have allowed this last year. Last year, he was more content to lay on the floor with his pillow and have us watch him from a distance while he was waking up. Of course once he's fully awake, there is no holding him – for long periods of time.

The few and far between times that he's slept in the bed with us, I've noticed he's more restful – as in no more 180degree moves, less kicking and flailing around. He used to pummel me mostly with his feet. And we just contributed that to the fact that we weren't the same umma and appa he was used to sleeping with. Very normal. These days, he is content to just lay in between us or snuggle with either one of us for the most part of the night. With his Tiddy close by of course. I used to dread the nights when he would have to sleep with us because that was guaranteed a lot less sleep for me. And I LOVE my sleep. I don't dread those nights anymore, but I am first to kick him out of bed. Do not want to start a habit. Do not get me wrong. Having him in bed with us is awesome. Makes me want to stay awake to just enjoy the snuggles. BUT his place is in his bed so there he must stay in the nights.

Since we really have had a very easy transition/bonding process we really haven't had to look too closely for any dis attachment issues. But him giving us more cuddle times and resting more comfortably through the nights with us, just really makes me realize that he did still have reservations with us and it basically took him a whole year to get over that. A whole year! And that's an easy transition.

What am I getting at and why am I thinking such thoughts? Cause we're adopting again of course! It's only been a week since we've gotten our initial paperwork so we're still working on getting those turned back in. But of course my mind is already jumping ahead and thinking about how once again we are going to rock Wiggly's world. I've been joking around and saying how we're working on dethroning Wiggly. But really underneath is more of a fear and concern about how to go about it so as to protect his heart and keep the channels open between us and him. In our home study questionnaire, one of the questions is, “what fears do we have about adoption this second time around.” My answer, aside from the initial bonding and attachment issues, is not being able to address Wiggly's feelings of being displaced. My other fear is of possibly expecting our 2^nd process to be just as good as Wiggly's. Since our attachment and bonding process with Wiggly has been very smooth, I do not want to lose sight of the fact that it could very well be completely the opposite. I need to remember that our next one is his/her own complete, unique self. And of course there is the fear of managing my time more efficiently to be able to meet both kids' needs appropriately and evenly. It goes without saying that we will have another heart to pray for and protect of course.

So what does Wiggly think of being a big brother? Most of the times, he's just kind of laughed it off. This weekend I told him, “hey Wiggly, you're going to be a big brother!” Wiggly's response: “Oh ma-an!” Needless to say, Wiggly is getting tighter than usual hugs from Mommy. Mommy is already grieving over the idea of less one on one time with Wiggly; grieving for Wiggly about the inevitable changes he's going to have to adapt to again. The one good thing is Wiggly seems to be able to adapt to/handle change fairly well. It might take a whole year post 2^nd adoption for a new normal but it'll happen I know.

So, YES we are very excited about having another one. We are even jumping ahead and already talking about traveling plans! HA! Really, we are being cautious and convincing ourselves it'll actually be a longer process since Korea has changed their adoption process just this month. So we are going to be willing guinea pigs this time around. The one certainty about adoption is, you are guaranteed a ton of uncertainties.. such as the length of wait, what kind of child you're getting – seemingly healthy or not. We are hoping for the best of course but we are preparing ourselves like we did the first go around – preparing for the worst. Which brings me back to transitioning – easy vs difficult. We have been so blessed that Wiggly's transition has been smooth and basically a dream come true. And yet, it took him ONE YEAR to fully be comfortable with us. It is very hard for me to grasp how hard and how long it can take for our second child to attach to us completely if we start off with a rough transition. And yet I know God has His hand in all of this; He knows what's ahead of us and I will just have to cling to that fact. So we step out in faith once again … in a big, exciting, roller coaster way. 

11 months ago

 Cousin M has a knack for bringing out the best smiles/laughs from Wiggly.

                             AC

 

 

PTBC

Potty training is hard work and, serious business! Just had to get that out in the open... in case I forget next time. We introduced Wiggly to the big potty shortly before he turned two. Introduced meaning I sat him on it and just let him hang out on it for however long he wanted to stay on it. I let him take some toilet paper out and lo and behold he knew exactly what to use it for and how... except he couldn't and still can't reach. So we did this randomly a few nights here and there not really thinking WE were ready to do this thing called potty training. Yes I said “we”... never mind Wiggly's readiness.

In my mind, I was going to wait til at least 2 ½ – definitely 3yrs of age before starting the training. But, Wiggly's Daddy thought otherwise. So Wiggly's potty training started (halfheartedly on my part) shortly after he turned 2. Thinking back, we really already were set up for it – we had inherited two (yes 2) potty chairs... one from Ate and one from AR, and Wiggly when we first got him, was already squatting every time he felt the need for #2. Except of course he did the deed in his diaper. The squatting quickly went away a few months after he came home with us. We didn't grab on to the signal partly because we were wanting to be more purposeful about our attachment and bonding process and didn't want potty training to be in the way. Other reason? Slackers! No, I cannot deny it. I wanted nothing but to play and get to know Wiggly last year. There are other reasons but here we are in the potty training business and looking very hopeful in just 3months.

So how did we start it? For a week or so, I would have Wiggly sit on his potty and tell him to go “tinkle” and go “oong-ga.” Wiggly for the first couple of tries would just say... “oh!” and sit on the potty and read and talk to his choo-choo books and not do any serious business. We did this 3times a day, 15min at a time after each meal. During diaper days, he would poop almost consistently after each meal and then some more. The first night he went tinkle, earned him much praise from Daddy. The next morning (last Thur of March,) he went oong-ga for the first time on his potty EVER! Talk about much praise and hugs and lots of big boy praises! He got his favorite Korean biscuit that morning plus gave Daddy and Mommy an excuse to buy a train set from our town's bi-annual children's consignment sale. It just happened to fall on that day of course therefore I remember it distinctly. So we did the same routine for another 3-4days and by this time I'd decided on two things: 1. Potty training is hard work; 2. we were definitely going to run with our plan to potty train and not set him up to fail. Turning back was NOT an option at this point in time. What was encouraging was, Wiggly was so willing to sit on the potty – we had no resistance whatsoever – as long as he had 3-4-5 books at a time while sitting. So we switched to pull ups in that 3-4days period and had a fair handle on the morning oong-ga even at that point. Having one less poopy diaper to deal with per day, was an incentive enough on my part! But the wet pull-ups were still coming on strong! Didn't really know what my next plan was until, I remembered the tip I had saved from the adoption forum I visit. And that is to have the child run around bottomless the first few days as some moms had mentioned. Some moms swore it only took ONE day! Two-three the most! Seriously? So we did just that the week prior to Easter Sunday. I still wish even to this day that I'd remembered that tip sooner. Wiggly LOVED running around half naked and quickly caught on to the potty business after that. Yes I had to clean up pee and poop on the floor a few times BUT the pace picked up much faster to where he didn't have to sit on the potty for 10-15min long. I wish I had pics of the glee on his face when it was time for him to sit on the potty and tinkle especially. And he went tinkle every 10-15min on his own at first - hard work for me but oh so rewarding. And no we really didn't stick to rewarding him every time he tried or had success. I don't really believe in rewards for potty training and besides he didn't really get the concept. Did he get a gummy bear or two or a biscuit? Oh yes but sporadically during the first few days of what I call potty training boot camp (PTBC)days. But PTBC quickly came to a halt the week after Easter Sunday due to sickness on Wiggly's part. Poor little guy had fevers on and off that week as high as 103. Ugh I hate watching him get sick. PTBC picked back up the third week of April with me feeling the pressure because by that time, it was less than a month to a road trip to So Carolina for a family reunion. So back to bottomless Wiggly we went and fortunately he didn't have a problem picking back up the big boy habits. By the end of the 3^rd week of April we had Wiggly in toddler briefs! Thomas and friends at that! Excitement and somewhat melancholy on my part. My baby has grown up way too fast. But those cute yet flimsy briefs just DID NOT help Wiggly or myself at all. They do not hold anything during accidents. So we switched to these Gerber training pants/briefs – more absorbent and washable. Wiggly has done amazingly well since then. The first few days of PTBC I had a dilemma of how was I going to know Wiggly's signal for when it was time to go. And how was he going to tell me when he couldn't even say the word potty. So we had a few accidents (mostly at home) especially no #1. He caught on to oong-ga fairly quickly and still to this day hates, HATES having poopy accidents. Alright with me! The first day he came to me on his own to signal that he had to poop (grabbing his bottom with a weird look on his face) was a great day! I should say, he waddled in to the kitchen at the farm, grabbing his bottom...LOL! I'll never forget it! Of course my response was to shot out of my chair, grab Wiggly and ran him to his potty. The following week, we had dinner with friends and out of the blue, Wiggly goes, “Mommy, potty!” There marks his first time to ever ask to go “potty.” Boy were we proud parents then. Well we still are. He has since moved on to “potty” for #1 and “poopy poop” for #2. How easy can he make it for us? He has us spoiled not to mention completely wrapped around his chubby, little thumb.

He still gets pull-ups for nap times and an overnight diaper for night time but otherwise he is good to go with the training pants. We've now even switched him back to his Thomas and friends underwear and he loves those things. He looks so stinking cute in those too.

How did Wiggly do during the long 2 day drive to Carolina and back? Exceptionally well! I stressed myself out for nothing. Especially whether to have him wear pull ups vs underwear.I decided to go with pull ups the day we left for Carolina. I believe he would have done well either way. What helped out the most was we brought his potty and sat it right next to his car seat and every time he asked to go, he'd get unbuckled, do his business and buckle back up again. Yes, we had a few “I want to go potty but not really. I just want out of my seat.” But those came very few. And who can blame the guy. He had no accidents whatsoever on the way there; coming back he had one wet pull up – during an almost 4hour nap.

Well, never thought I'd write two pages just on potty training alone but I did! The OC in me

is showing a little.  Still searching for the pic of our potty set up while traveling but for now...

Earlier days of PTBC.

Now wait a minute! I'm not done yet!

 AC

Random stuff

Cuteness. He loves his "mow tiddy!"

 

 

Family time at sunset on PJ's new ranger

Gotta love those almond shaped eyes.

AC

How comfy is he?

Only kids can sleep like this and wake up feeling refreshed. 

                                 I can count the number of achy joints if I were to sleep like this...

                                                                AC

Full circle

 My intentions to blog once a month didn't come to fruition. Good life got in the way – pleasantly. Since the last time I blogged, Wiggly has turned two; we said goodbye to his green card and said hello to his certificate of citizenship and social security card. And there ends our paper chase for Wiggly's adoption. We've since been potty training Wiggly with much success and I hope to do another post on that, one of these days. We've attended our first birthday party invitation from a friend we met at story time. Wiggly has finally met all but one of my siblings at a family reunion we had just a few weeks ago in South Carolina.

At two years old, Wiggly is just as wiggly as ever – if not more so. The only time he isn't, is when he is buckled up in his car seat. He sits better at church now but only for a period of time. Then whoever is holding him usually gets pummeled.

At two years old, Wiggly LOVES trains especially Thomas and friends. He loves playing with his wooden blocks and loves being read to. His favorite books: trains and vroom vrooms and animal books. He can spot a choo choo book a lot quicker than I can at the library. He knows which "book" is his Bible! Yay! At about 26mo, the word explosion has come around for him. Which makes him even louder than ever before. That is if he's around family. He's learned so many words now, I've lost track. He now attempts to string 2, and very rarely 3 words together. The 3 words come out in a jumble most of the times – sounds hilarious at times and yet cute. He has mastered calling for Papa Dohn and calling everything that looks like a tractor, Papa Dohn's vroom vroom (tractor.) I'm still amazed at how quickly he was able to say and recognize “Lolo and Lola” - my parents. 

Spreading some dandelion love :)

At two years old, he now says a resounding AMEN as soon as he hears “in Jesus' name.” He asks for either Mommy or Daddy to pray when he goes down for naps or night-night. At two years old, he asks to sing along to a few children songs we've learned. He knows the general tune to the songs but can't quite say the words except for the last word or syllable. Example: Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple: colors of the rainbow a beautiful sight. His version to this: ed ,uh, low,uh, wu, ple uh uh uh bow, uh, uh, ight. The alphabet song: his version: uh, b, u, e, ep, b, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, m, ah,p! But he has the tune down. He recognizes the alphabets for what they are and goes: “Mommy, e, ep, b” when he sees signs or even letters on shirts.

Some down time on top of the hay bales.

At two years old, he has learned to jump. He counts 1,2,3 and then he jumps. The count at times goes: 1,2,1! Hilarious. I wish I can get it on video one of these days... his counting sounds so cute. The jumping I'm not so excited about – he is getting more and more adventurous and tries to jump down from higher places now. Heart attack waiting to happen. He picked up the phrase “watch this” from his cousins and goes: “Mommy, wat di!” and then jumps. I can feel more gray hair coming on!

At two years old, he's renamed his cousins with as follows: Nay-nay, Tam/Nam, Dohn, Doe, Atah, Ta, and Babye. And yet he can say “Ate” (pronounced as Ahtee) just fine for his cousin from my side of the family. We've been working on saying “grandma” but it's just not coming yet. Sometimes though, I think I can hear an “uhma or mama” when he attempts to say grandma. 
 

Happy one year homecoming!

I am sure I am missing a few other details but the biggest thing is, we've now come full circle with being home with Wiggly. Our first family day anniversary (May 22^nd) was spent driving – our last leg drive home from South Carolina. Gave me plenty of time to reminisce about our days in Korea a year ago. We are just so thankful for this gift we have in our arms. I thought I had enough time to process and write about our time in Korea and actually being home with Wiggly for one year now... but I can't quite wrap my brain around it. Suffice it to say that our first year with Wiggly has been very pleasant to say the least and would love to have just as pleasant time in the years to come. I cannot imagine life without him at this point in time. I love being able to stay home with him; watching him grow into a toddler has been a very interesting blessing. Daddy's unbiased opinion of Wiggly is: he is strong willed with a dynamic personality. This makes for a very strong combination to say the least. He is really making us hone in on our parenting skills – what little we have and what we don't have, we're having to learn really fast. Oh but the “true lip kisses” and the “true arm hugs” we get from Wiggly make everything so, so worth it! And just to hear and watch him laugh while Daddy plays with him is just priceless! He gets such enjoyment out of having airplane rides on a laundry basket; having vroom vroom rides on a toy wheel barrow, or being “tickle bombed” by Daddy – just simple Daddy fun.

Helping Mommy blow her candles.

What's been so heartwarming and so pleasantly noticeable is the cousins just embracing Wiggly as their own. And this year Wiggly is fully returning the favor. He loves his Ahtee just as much as well. 
 We are now (graciously I hope) settling into the background as aunt/mommy and uncle/daddy. Example: When we go to visit the cousins or the cousins come to visit, the cousins call for Wiggly first thing instead of UD and AC. It just makes my heart smile! Is there such a thing? And after sleepovers, Wiggly wakes up and looks across to an empty bed and asks for the cousin who was just there a day or so ago.

One year ago

One year later

In short: I cannot believe we've been home a full year and yet we have!!! It's been such a fun ride! Praying for more to come! We love being Wiggly's mommy and daddy. We are so grateful for him and just love him to pieces. Praise God to all whom blessings flow!

                                                                             AC

Be a blessing

 

This past weekend, my side of the family received a profound blessing from a group of people we barely even know. They got together and collected 4 huge boxes worth of clothing, food, house and personal use necessities to give to one of my brother's family whose house got flooded out just before Christmas. By God's grace, he and his family are safe and are living with my parents for the time being.

We cannot thank these people enough for their generosity – cheerful and eager generosity.

I am not one to step out of my comfort zone but today I am. These people and 2 of my adoption friends have encouraged me to write this post. Laura and Christina (Chris) are treasured friends I know God provided for us during our adoption journey. Now that their kids are home (from China and Korea) they have embarked on a new adventure with the Lord. Please visit Chris' blog today:  Mission Opportunity

and GIVE. There... I said it. After I read Chris and Laura's emails,

I wrote back and said something to the effect of (me) not being eloquent with words. And Chris put me to place and wrote back something to the effect of, “those aren't my words, those are God's” She had prayed about it and asked for God to speak through her. And I believe her. Just read her blog (Mission Opportunity) which has part of Laura's email in it.

At our home church, we just happen to be studying 2Corinthians chapter 8. This chapter and the next is all about GIVING. So you see... God has already paved my to this post. 

Give and let the Lord take care of the end result of your gift. 

But just as you excel in everything - in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us - see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

2 Corinthians 8:7

AC

 

Where is my baby? (Warning: LONG post)

December 1^st 2011, while checking out books at the library, I heard this unquestionable voice from the corner saying, “Ma?” My head shot in the air knowing it was Wiggly. He was calling for me! So I quickly said, “over here, Eunchee!” And then he said it again – closer to me this time, “Ma!” So I dropped my books and met him halfway, scooped him up in my arms and just gave him a big hug. Significance? That day he went from calling for “Ma” in the morning to “Mama” by the afternoon! Ahhhhhhhh! Saaahweetness! And he has been calling me “Mama” ever since. Yay! Prior to this day, he called both Dad and myself, Dad or Daddy. Imagine that! He did call for “Ma” one Fri morning in September but then promptly forgot about it and went back to calling me Dad or Daddy.

January 1^st 2012, I had Wiggly in my arms, and 0ut of the blue I asked,

“buddy, where man my bebe (for baby)?” Lo and behold, he looks up to me with a smile and points with both hands to himself! Oh what a pleasant surprise that was! He really gets it now! Let's just say he got more than his fair share of lovins from me that day. I told that to UD while we were out and about that day and he goes, “really?” So he impatiently waits for Wiggly to get up from his nap – like sitting on the bed, willing for Wiggly to wake up! So with cobwebs in his head, Wiggly gets asked by Dad, “where's my baby?” And Wiggly gets this look of huh? And then, “oh” look as he points to himself just like he did for Mommy. Ahhhhh! Pride! Heart warming!!!!!!!!

He is indeed “our baby” now. We finalized his adoption one, fine, sweet Dec 29^th day of 2011! We are now officially Eunchee's parents, and he, our son officially – FOREVER! I'm so happy to say, we are now a forever family – officially! So, this one, fine, sweet day started with us on the run. Food prep, haircut, attempting a morning nap for Wiggly, lunch, more food prep, getting spiffed up, then rushing to the lawyer's office – where we waited (with PJ and GM) for 3:00pm. While waiting, Wiggly decided he needed some pictures taken. It was the cutest thing. He would run up to the door, pose, then run to Grandma as soon as he heard the “click” to look at his picture. Seriously! We're not teaching him to be vain... really.

If you know us, LATE is our middle name. This time, we kept track of the time quite anxiously; WILLING our lawyer to hurry up with his other client so we could walk across the street to the courthouse. And so we did – jaywalking at that. But no matter; we had a lawyer with us! We went through security check without a hitch and met up with family and friends who were already there – waiting for us. Then we got off the elevator and I was pleasantly surprised to see my co-workers from Pod A (as in angels)! They had also come to witness our big day. Brought tears to my eyes. I might have squealed too. After the hugs, we went in to the courtroom; got situated and waited (not for very long) for the judge to come out. The hearing took only 5minutes – if that. Our lawyer did all the talking – then our petition was granted! Gavel sound! Wiggly is OURS and his name officially changed to the name we've given him!

We asked the judge if we could take pictures and he goes, “take all the pictures you want.” Oh yeah! Take pictures we did! Thank you GM and BUOIT for taking the pictures. And thank you to those who came to the hearing. We are so honored! Special, special time!

The judge said something to the effect of, "this is quite a crowd."

 

We then went over birth certificate requirement/paperwork and headed on home for more food prep work and attempting a nap for Wiggly. He protested loudly but lost the battle in the end.

So... food.... yes we had quite a spread. But we never would have been able to get most of it done without BOUIT, row-rower-your-boat S, and 4 of their friends who came over to help UD prep and cook all day long. That was a sight to see and listen to actually. Four young ladies and 2 young gentlemen sitting and standing around our teeny tiny table. Prior to the hearing, they put together the lumpia and potstickers – time consuming! They also helped UD cut up veggies and all that good yummy stuff cooks do. Then after the hearing, the “kids” and UD proceeded to cook up a storm – lumpia, potstickers, japchae, grilled veggies, and Korean steak barbecue. My youngest brother and his friend came after the hearing so they ended up helping with the grilling. It was very refreshing to hear young adult conversation and laughter and music. Just made for even better day. What was I doing amidst all this cooking? Running around like a chicken with its head cut off! End result... chicken scratched icing work on Wiggly's Adoption day cake. But we ate good that night! We packed our house with family, and friends – just what we had envisioned for Wiggly's finalization/adoption day. Thank you again BUOIT, RRYB S, A, B, N, and G for giving up what would have been one more day at the farm – to help us and be with us on our special day. And thank you to those who came for the hearing and to our little Korean dinner. We are so grateful.

Yesterday, we received a letter for our agency closing our file for this adoption. Does anybody know how good that feels? No more mandatory social worker visits, no more “what-if-they-decide-to-take-him-back” fears, no more of that stuff! 

 

Today, we went back to our lawyer's office to review Wiggly's birth certificate. Seeing our names as Wiggly's parents just made my day. We are forever grateful to Wiggly's birth mom for choosing life and giving us a chance to parent our son. Maybe one day, we might be able to thank her in person. Until then, prayerfully, we will do our best to bring up Wiggly to be a fine, God loving and God fearing gentleman.

AC

PS: I love the way he calls me "Mama."
PPS or is it PSS: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!