Special mention

While we were in Korea, we actually got to see and read UD's records. As most of you know, UD was adopted through the same agency we are using. This worked out really well for us. Our SW in Korea asked if UD wanted to see his records. He said yes; she told us to just walk in to their Post Adoption Services office which happened to be on the 4th floor of the guest house we were staying. How convenient huh? We were worried since we didn't bring any of his pre UD ID's or anything like that. But Mon, 5/23/11 we walked in to 
the said office. One of the ladies promptly stood up and asked how she could help us... we told her what we wanted and after looking up his Korean name, she asked us to come back the next day at 2pm so she could have time to gather all his records. Just like that! Less than 15min! I was very impressed. Our SW told us all of the ladies at the 4th floor spoke fluent English and so we asked for another favor. To see where we could buy a 3 pronged adapter for our stinking laptop that was deader than a doornail by then. And one of the other ladies, hurried around looking for a "3 pronged converter" and she goes, "here... you can borrow this; just make sure to please return it ok?"  We were just floored.. pleasantly floored at how nice everybody was at the guest house.

So we went back the next day after taking pics of our friend's BEAUTIFUL girl, and a quick Insadong Market visit. GM and UD went over the records pretty thoroughly with Ms. L.'s help. Everything was translated in to English. We asked if we could take pics of the documents, and Ms. L goes, "I'll make copies of all the records for you to take home." How sweet is that huh? She even gave us an extra copy of one of his referral pics. I had to bow out after a while with Mr Wiggly in tow since Mr Wiggly wasn't going to take all this reading and just sitting around for nothing. So we waited outside... him making friends with the rest of the ladies on the 4th floor. We also did a round of climbing up and down the stairs to the 5th floor - where we were staying. This kid can crawl up the stairs man! He can't quite go down them yet. BUT he did find our room without prompting.
Anyways, back to UD's records, we didn't find out anything new as far as birth family. We did find out which orphanage he was in. It is now a school these days. From what we could see, it didn't take very long for him to be assigned to his forever family once he was "admitted" to our agency. Less than a year actually. So now we have copies of a couple of UD's well baby checks and assessments, along with our Mr Wiggly's. I think that's pretty cool! We actually have Mr Wiggly's original records now, which is awesome d awesome! It was pretty special to hold in our hands UDs original records. UD has asked me not to mention too much about what's all in the records so I will honor that. But here is one of his referral pics!

                                                  He looked so sad, but isn't he stinking cute!

 This is his naturalization pic courtesy of Topeka Journal. GM said if not for a girl adoptee who also got naturalized that day, this pic would have been on the paper. But the paper gave them the pic anyway. Cool huh? And a few months back, I got permission from Topeka Journal to get the pic scanned at Wolfe's for a bigger size pic. Even cooler huh?

                                                  Baptism in to Christ. This was at the Chase County Lake I think.

 Here he is now... getting introduced in to fatherhood. I say he's handling it pretty well. Well, actually he is doing wonderfully. This daddy gets up in the middle of the night, THE SECOND he hears Mr Wiggly scream bloody murder. This daddy is washing and fixing our Mr's Wiggly's bottles, making meals (as always), not to mention doing his BIG share of poopy diapers. This daddy has jumped in to fatherhood just like a pro. Might I add, this daddy did his fair share of paperwork and stalking the forum and emails while we were waiting for THE CALL. Did his fair share of calling Washington DC too when our son's visa was being processed. This daddy shed his fair share of joyful and painful tears while waiting to have a child.

Mommy AC might be the entertainer all around, but Daddy UD makes our Mr Wiggly laugh the most and smile the most.

I should have saved this for Father's day, but ... happy advanced Father's day Daddy UD! Mr Wiggly and I love you. Mr Wiggly's mommy is so proud of you.

AC

PS: I would also mention, special thanks to L and S for allowing us to share in your kids' lives, and learning from you and allowing us to "practice" with your kids. Now we finally get to apply what we've learned. Not as easy as you guys made it look!

Lesson learned

So in our eagerness to show our little guy to the world, we went to the farm yesterday to meet and greet our church group and our little guy's cousins. He appeared to take it all in ok; with some misgivings we let him be carried and kissed by a few friends/cousins. In hindsight, he was quiter than normal and whinier than normal. End result - nightmare of a night for our Mr Wiggly. He woke up every hour, inconsolabe... not even by his favorite pillow and bottle. He clung to UD and I the few hours he was asleep. He normally wiggles and thrushes around but doesn't necessarily seek body contact while he's asleep... until last night. By 5am, Mr Wiggly and I were up making the rounds around the house with him in my arms the whole time. There was no putting down of my Mr Wiggly. His norm is 5min maybe in my arms or UDs and then it's put me down, put me down. Not this time. I did manage to get him to eat an orange and yogurt before he was back to being clingy again. As much as I loved holding him, I knew this wasn't my normal Mr Wiggly. We got sick of making the rounds around the house so I loaded him in my carrier and walked around the neighborhood to calm him down. This was definitely new for this old first timer parent. Our neighborhood does not see my shadow anytime before 8am...let alone before 7am!
It was a quite walk, yet no sleep for Mr Wiggly. So back in to the house we went.... going round and around our living room and hallway. We ended up back in bed about 8am, both exhausted and my Mr Wiggly finally fell asleep. He woke up about 2pm still not his normal self; walking around the house dazed unless engaged by myself or UD. Needless to say, we missed church today.
I was hoping not to have to write what I'm about to write but in view of last night, it has to be written and said. We are going to have to go in to hibernation for a couple of weeks for our little guy's sake. Even though he is bonding to us quite well, we are still strangers to him and most likely he is still expecting for his umma to be right around the corner. When we feel he may be ready, we are going to have to limit our meet and greet to small groups at a time. And as hard as this is to say and write, we are going to have to ask friends and maybe even family to enjoy our little guy from a distance and from our arms just for a while. We are hoping this won't last very long. We have to establish that we are the primary care givers; that we are now his mommy and daddy forever. We have to gain his trust fully before we can "pass" him around and him not having thoughts of  "am I going to be with different people next time I wake up?" We respectfully ask friends and family to let us do all his baby care for now including feeding, diaper changes, soothing, cuddling, and even kissing. Having said this, we still invite for all to say hi to him and talk to him. He may not be showing it, but he is grieving of so much loss -everything he's known especially his foster family who have shown him so much love.Grieving episodes are intensified by over stimulation, so we need to keep his world quiet and small for his first weeks with us as he begins to bond with his forever mommy and daddy.
When we went to our adoption parenting class a few months back, our SW's first words were, "it's all about your baby" when that baby comes. UD and I thought, "what world does she live in?" "Is she expecting us to be a baby directed family or something? What kind of class is this?" Well, we humbly stand corrected. At least for a while, in the adoption world, it's going to have to be all about the baby... for a while... until we get him through his grieving and transition with us. So many of you have prayed daily for him and we do not underestimate the bond or love you feel for our son. We hope you understand our need for this special time with our Mr Wiggly. Thank you for understading and thank you once again for sharing in our joy! Our love just grows deeper every day for this little guy we have in our home right now.

  Love,

UD and AC

Here are a couple links that might help you understand attachment a little better:

http://attachment.adoption.com/bonding/foundations-of-attachment.html

http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=section&id=7&Itemid=69

Home saaaahhhhweet home!

Our family of three plus GM made it home safely yesterday. Praise You Lord! We touched down at KC little after 2pm and made it home about 5pm I think. Thanks E. for picking us up. We so appreciate you taking the time. Our family of three!!!! That sounds really good by the way! Mr Wiggly did quite well during the entire trip.
He slept a couple hours here and there; couple on the bassinet, an hour here and there on my arms (aahh heaven!). GM got her fair share of calming Mr Wiggly down and putting him to sleep. GM did the Patty cake thingy majigger with Mr Wiggly and he loved it. And Mr Wiggly did his rounds with the stewardesses. He particularly liked one Korean stewardess and his 2nd favorite was a Filipino stewardess. Imagine that! Sleep was even more elusive this time for us parents. Parents!!!! Can you believe that? I feel like a baby sitter right now and every once in a while I still think, "UD" for Mr Wiggly's daddy. We have been AC and UD for a long time. Being Mommy and Daddy seems so surreal right now... except of course we've had our first stumbling in the dark bit with Mr Wiggly last night. He didn't sleep nearly as well as he did in Korea --- lots of changes ahead for this little guy of ours. I'm rambling... so GLAD to be home with our little guy. Thank you Lord for bringing us home safely. Will gather thoughts together soon....

                                                                 Hello PJ!!!

 Got strapped in the high chair in less than 2hours after getting home! Stink! After all that traveling, I get strapped down some more? What did I do to deserve this? He didn't do so bad actually. He must have been just tired. He didn't even scream so much in the car seat. Oh yes... my little guy looks SO TINY in the car seat. He slept most of the way home from KC.

First morning home... haven't heard so much of his laughter today. Daddy and Mr Wiggly are sleeping the day away. I've seen a few smiles here and there when played with. He's funny... he takes his little pillow and makes a nose dive on to the floor with it. Gave me a heart attack the first few times he did it. Sometimes he throws the pillow down first and then makes a dive for it! Ugh... I thought the LITTLES have prepared me for thousands of little heart attacks. uh... NOT!

Ready to travel back in time... last post from Seoul

Well it's time for us to pack and leave. Tom Wed 5/25/11 we leave for the US at 11am here in Seoul and should get to Chicago some time in the morning, then KC about 2pm. It has been very much fun. Thank you for following our journey to our Mr Wiggly and his birthplace. There was so much to do but so little time. Mr

Wiggly is doing amazingly well and is bonding to us pretty well. Thank you Lord! And thank you for all your prayers. We are feeling your prayers. Here are a few pics around Seoul; enjoy and see you all some time soon, God willing. So long Seoul.... thank you for our little Unshie. Thanks GM for coming along. Thanks for taking all the beautiful pictures! By the way, happy birthday to Josiah ... and I missed it again... belated happy anniversary to my Nanay and Tatay. Peace out Seoul!

AC

Family day pics

                         Our official gotcha day photo inside our agency's meeting room. By this time little Unshie was way beyond antsy. He's not had his nap, and he knew full well something significant was going on.

                                                       A pose with GM.

 And a pose with our SW who we just love. She is the sweetest, most helpful SW we know. She has a heart for the children and the foster mothers.

                                          And a pose with his doctor - this is the one that does the monthly well baby checks on this kids. Us adoptive mommas live, LIVE for well baby checks and photos. And tomorrow I get to take pics of my friend, Chris's child. I am so very excited and honored to be able to do this. It is very much an answer to prayer. My friend so far has only the pics from referral day which was in Jan. So to be able to do this for her means a lot to both of us.

                                      Temperature check.

 Little Unshie was off running around by the time we got this pic... so we decided to just let him be.

 Final lovins from our foster mom. Please pray for Mrs J. She is really having a difficult time dealing with her loss. Today 5/23/11, she brought little Unshie more goodies. She asked to see little Unshie one more time and we did let her, bless her heart. Except our SW set it up so little Unshie couldn't really see her so as not to confuse him.

                                                     Do I really have to go?

 Making his last and final rounds. It was so cute to see... he went into one room to another to another and everywhere he went, everybody came up to him, called him by name and said good bye to him.

                                                   With our two foster moms in Seoul.  Our first Seoul foster mom sent with   us a bunch of oranges since she knew little Unshie liked oranges.

                      No more mountain of paperwork! Just one form to sign and he is ours to take home!

 Mrs. J gave us three, three HUGE bags of goodies ranging from food, clothing, toys, pics, diapers, wipes, bottles with tons of Nuk nipples, and my favorite... bibs! I love the bibs she gave us. She gave us back pretty much everything we sent in our 2 care packages plus what looks like stuff that little Unhie has used and will be able to use in the future. It felt like a baby shower all over again! Now to pack everything in - including the pony we sent and a Pororo airplane that is HUGE. The Pororo airplane is from our foster mom. She also sent with us his hanbok! Yay! Mrs J made sure to tell us he only likes Nuk nipples. It can be any bottle but it has to be Nuk nipples.

 We got back to the guest house and Unshie fell asleep almost immediately. He sleeps with a pillow that Mrs J made sure to send with us.

 Love this little guy of mine! It was just absolutely indescribable listening to him breathe while he was sleeping.

 We found out even on his first nap with us that he is very, very wiggly even asleep. The first night especially... he was ALL OVER the bed. Neither UD and I got much sleep that first night but Unshie did. The next two nights have been pretty much the same but we've been able to sleep through most of the wiggling. Yesterday morning, we woke up to him screaming bloody murder... he'd lost his bottle and needed one, now, now, now! He is a bottle drinking machine!

He woke up from his first nap with us happy and with a smile on his face. The next morning, he wasn't as happy but all in all he's been doing ok. Please continue to pray with us during this transition stage.  I am definitely head over heels in love with this little guy. It'll be hard practicing tough love but I know it has to be done for his own good.

Family day pics

               This was right after our little guy went right up to UD to be carried after we walked in the door.

                                     First lunch with our little guy.

                                                       Last lunch with our foster mom, Mrs J.

 This and the next two pics are actually from preview day. We ate authentic Korean food, grilled and cooked in front of us. It was delicious! Oh yes, no utensils either!

                                                         I love UD's happy smile here :)

Unshie, aka Mr Wiggly has become very attached to UD. Like UD can't go to the bathroom without Unshie looking for appa. I love it! He will play with me and give some happy laughs, but ultimately he goes to appa for comfort. You know what this means... appa is changing poopy diapers on our little Unshie! In fact he's already had his share - the third one being quite messy! LOL! I help ... really.

We are his...

and he is OURS! So much to remember, so much to write, so much JOY! You sure you want to read all this? Here we go... we were 5min early this time but our little guy and our two foster moms still beat us. We got out from the rain, walked in to the building and there he was just right at the door. He seemed to recognize us but he first turned and walked to our foster mom. BUT before I even got my gadgets out, he ran to UD and raised his arms up to be picked up! How sweet of a welcome that was! And I don't have it on video or photograph! Stink! But it truly was a sight to see. So we waited a little bit for our SW to come down and back in to the rain we went. We walked to an Italian restaurant and ate yummy food. My "how many years" family would appreciate all the shells I ate with my spaghetti. UD carried our son to and from the restaurant. He tolerated that well. Our current foster mom (Mrs J), bless her heart was already having a hard time keeping her tears down. Our son apparently knew something was up because he got really clingy to Mrs J. So back to the meeting room we went... a teeny tiny room with 2 small couches with pretty blue covers. Thanks to fellow AP's, I had a list of questions to ask Mrs J through our SW (who speaks very fluent English). Questions went from nap habits, eating habits, likes and dislikes, temperament and those kinds of things. Not sure how long that went on but it exhausted our video camera battery. Towards the end of my list, I asked her what she would want for us to tell our son about them. She took out a letter she had written for our son; our SW read it out loud to us and tears just started FLOWING. Our son is SO loved by our foster mom. I cannot imagine how she can do this so often. She has such a big heart for our son and she told us our son is her favorite. We are so honored and so thankful for Mrs J. It was very evident how much love she had for our son. We then gave her our gifts and she seemed to really appreciate the pendant we gave her of our son. This was a pic of him she sent us wearing his traditional Korean outfit called, hanbok.  She looked at my letter, which I had translated by our friend SB and she mentioned how she appreciated the translation so much. So thanks SB! This whole time we were talking, my busy body was being his usual Mr busy body... in to a lot of things. Good thing the room was teeny tiny. Mrs J. kept track of him the whole time we were talking. So then we went downstairs to see the doctor for the last time - with our son leading the way. It was funny... he knew exactly where to go and what to do. In fact he gave the MD some lovins and the nurse sat  him on the little stool and after a quick ear check, eye check, lung and heart check he was set to go. Clean bill of health for our little guy! So we hung around some more saying goodbye to the nurses and staff... well it was more like our son making the rounds one last time. We also said goodbye to our first foster mom - she took care of him for three weeks. She is neighbors with Mrs J so she's been around our son this whole time. She and Mrs J love our son so much.
We went back upstairs to the meeting room, UD signed only ONE measly sheet of paper and he was ours!
After all that mountain of paper work and what seemed like forever wait for EP submission, he is finally ours! Mrs J then asked me if I had an "Ergo" - a back carrier. And I said, uh no but I have one that's a front one made by halmoni (GM). Uh, that wasn't good enough, bless her heart. She graciously gave us hers saying this was one she bought for our son and this what he was used to. She is just so very sweet.
She wanted to change our son's diaper for the last time, and so she did. Then UD bent down, I picked up a tired and worried son (by this time), stuck him on UD's back and tried without success to figure out how to use this Ergo. I turned to Mrs J for help and she ran to my rescue with so much tears in her eyes. I cannot say this enough... we are so very thankful and blessed to have had Mrs J for our foster mom. I gave her one more last hug and off we went in to the rain again this time with our son on UD's back.GM stayed little longer to console Mrs J. Thank you GM. So we walked on home with our son CRYING his heart out. I felt so bad for the guy, I almost lost it then. This was in the rain by the way. That 10 min walk seemed to last FOREVER! We got in to the guest house, went upstairs, found out we forgot to pick up our key! Imagine that! So I hurried on back down, got the keys, got some layers off of our son, UD got the bottle that Mrs J had prepared for us already, gave it to our little guy and he took it gladly. We also gave him his favorite pillow, and we both laid down with him and watched him fall asleep. Heaven :) We praise and thank you Lord for who we have in ours arms right now. We strongly believe you have picked out our son just for us. We thank you for being in control all this time and always. We thank you for getting us through what seemed like a long wait for a child. But not a long wait in your time Lord. May you be glorified in our lives.